A Mother (Lady Muck), her Daughter (1st Lady), Scottish goings on, tourism, funny comments, and some ulterior motives.
You will never guess what has happened!!! NO! Not that! No Not that either! Enough!
After a life time of reading nearly every famous Who dunnit book ever written, and from years of guessing the culprit in TV thrillers or movies, I have eventually been invited to be a Juror!! ( Well not invited actually - more like ordered)
At last I can put my wonderful sleuthing brain to the test. I will be the inspiration of all the other jurors and lead them gently along by the hand. I will smile encouragingly at the Judge and keep him awake through the long smug speeches of the advocats.
I will shout out ' I object' if councel is too long winded. Or ' Over-ruled' if they are getting too pompous. I may even ask to ' approach the bench' if I feel that the prosecutor/defence are missing some vital information.
Of course I will need to rush the procedings along as I do have a tendency to get bored rather quickly and may even fall asleep if the judge doesn't shout loudly now and then. I wonder if it is a similar experience to being at the theatre? You know - do I put in my bar order in advance for the first interval? Or will the clerk come along and take our orders in court?
On the other hand I hope that I will not actually be chosen on the day as I do have things to do. Hairdressers, shopping, meet 1st Lady for lunch, more shopping..... I rest my case!
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4 comments:
Oh, how the halls of justice will tremble at your approach.
They don't know what they've let themselves get into, by inviting you, obviously it's not somebody who has heard of you or they would run a mile.
Simple, if it's male he is innocent, if female shout 'Guilty!'
This makes things easier for everyone.
No, I promise to be fair (blonde actually) and even let the judge get a word in now and then.
I will not prejudge unless they are Cyclists,TIE officials ( tram overseers remember)doctors'receptionists or members of quangos or forums. Oh and if they use the 'double negative'they will be in trouble (contempt of court perhaps?)
Apart from that I will give an unbiased verdict
(Did I mention I am open to bribes?)KIDDING Mi Lawd
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