It's not nice to laugh but . . . . . .

A friend of ours has just returned from Germany and told us of his rather funny- I mean painful- mishap.
He was waiting for a plane and had a few hours free and so he decided he would have a short wander around the town which he hadn't visited before even though it was raining torrentially.

Now to set the scene you have to know that he is a very large and weighty man and is a stranger to the gym and also has a very painful knee injury which flares up now and then.

He decided to use the moving walkway that goes downwards to the underground station but as he took his first step onto the moving floor he realised that it was extremely wet and slippy and he fell hard onto his posterior. He managed to pull himself up with some difficulty due to his sore knee but then to his horror he noticed that the underground had flooded with about 2ft of water and he was heading straight down to it!

He about-turned and started to run up the walkway as fast as he could and tried to catch the attention of people at the top and get them to press the emergency stop button. Even though he speaks fluent German nobody would help and he had to use all his energy and determination to run up the moving belt faster than it was moving down.

There was a MacDonalds cafe situated at the side of the walkway and all the people had a ringside seat to enjoy the entertainment.
The poor man did manage to finally drag himself to safety but then had to try to hobble with two bad knees.

I have only now stopped laughing as I couldn't help but remember a conversation I had with his wife just last week. She was saying that she worried about his health a lot as he never took any exercise! I think he has made up for that in one session.

A busy time of year

It's that busy time of year again where I don upon my best maids outfit. The holiday rental business is busy and summer holidays are nearly here, this means lots of check ins and check outs, infact we've had more check ins these last few weeks than Susan Boyle.

It's not easy finding a decent maids outfit you know, and after searching the local high street shops I decided upon this one - found in the Marks & Spencers exotic lingerie section. I must admit it felt a little embarrasing carrying this outfit up to the checkout, what with all the little frills and bows, not to mention the ankle showing skirt in that rather too sexy shade of gray, I really dont like giving men the wrong ideas. Marks and Spencers offered most of what I was looking for, and I left the department store with my costume and a bondage starter kit which should be ideal for repairing the wobbly legged dining chair in our Georgian apartment.



I'll hopefully be back to blogging more soon...

1st. L.

A Scottish Tadpole Birthday

Just wanted to post a Happy Birthday to my little brother, he's still clinging onto his 20's yet doesn't look a day over 48.

Happy Birthday!

MP Scandal - Report from the House of Ladies

As speaker for the House of Ladies, I not only offer to repay the monies for the toilet rolls I borrowed or should I say 'purloined' from the Edinburgh Villa holiday home but I will be the first MP "Mistress of Purchasing" to hold her hands up and say "not only will I repay but I will admit to being a greedy thieving wastrel.
I am sorry, so very very sorry ..........that I've been found out"
1st Lady has applied for the position of chief whip but as I think she is only interested in the leather outfit I may have to turn her down.

Yours attempting to be true

First Lady of Muck

A dressing Edinburgh Tram Works

For those following the Edinburgh Tram Works fiasco, you may already know that the future of the Tram chiefs employment as big tram chiefum, is in doubt. Orange and yellow worn together? Surely we knew this was coming.

For those following L.Mucks reporting on the Edinburgh Tram Works, you may be pleased to learn that she will not only be writing another open letter to them, but will also be volunteering! For what you may ask? I'm not quite sure myself so I'll let her tell you all, but it's something to do with following men around with notepad, taking names and numbers.

For now I'll leave you with a photo just in from the streets of Edinburgh.

L.Muck pulled out her colour wheel and tried explaining to fellow tram workers that yellow and orange are analogous colours, they should never be worn together. Hard hat covers in complimentary colours (such as modelled above by L.Muck) are now available.

Appalling behaviour

I know, I KNOW! You all read the title, tut tutted to yourself and said WHAT has L.Muck been getting up to now?

Well the behaviour I'm talking about is the neglect on this blog recently by moi. It's strange, one gets into a pattern of not blogging and from there days and days go by where there's nothing to write. I've also been extremely busy mind you and travelling a bit, plus looking at properties, talking to banks, tax men, Lothian bus drivers... and then there's the driving strangers around Edinburgh bit with L.Muck...

Did that just yesterday...

L.Muck and I were just leaving one of our holiday rentals and a small SUV decided to parallel park next to us, on the road facing oncoming traffic, blocking us in, the occupants then asked where the western general hospital was. They were way off track, been lost for an hour, and the map they showed us, well, it's one of those touristy maps where it shows Edinburgh with 5 main roads leading into it and no side streets, might have worked in Robert Burns times. We ended up driving the couple to the hospital as I feared the couple weren't fully understanding L.Mucks directions "go straight ahead to the Boars Head Inn, turn right, continue to the Whitehorse Pub, take the 2nd left out of their driveway, continue to the Kings Arms, follow road on foot to the bus stop, take the 41 to the Auld Toll Bar, look for taxi rank...", wasn't too bad really as we were heading that general direction anyway (6hrs 25 minutes and 9 drinks later they were at the hospital).

I wonder if 1 hour of being lost is the average amount of time it takes for a man to stop and ask for directions?

Aah see now, I thought I had nothing to write about, yet the nonsense I write just flows so naturally once I get started.

I'm away to somewhere near Oban next weekend and hoping to try some fly fishing. Not done that in years. My brother and I used to go fishing on a loch near Kinlochewe, but all I really remember about fishing from back then is how to push cars out of muddy loch trails. Happened often, more often than we caught a fish...

Maybe I'll try some haggis hunting too, anyone with any tips? Is cammo required?

A somewhat gentler subject

I must have the most overfed and pampered kitchen sink in the world.

In just one day I have fed it,deliberately, lemon, lime, brown sauce, vinegar and baking soda.

How does it repay me?? It is STILL blocked!!! ( well not quite, but running slowly(

Oh well, it is not all bad news. I spent so much time with the sink plunger that I have now got arm muscles that would make an Irish Navie envious!! I can now apply for the position of elephant polo goal keeper.

Always look on the bright side of life!

T.i.e

Ah well, who would have believed it, what a shock ( can I get any more sarcastic?) I hear that the workers in TIE , the top guys who already will be paid more than they are worth, have received at least £1 million in bonuses!!!

I would like to offer myself as the NEW manager of the tram co-ordination team on the following grounds.

1. I will NOT be ripped off by contactors, AND I will not rip off the people of Edinburgh/Scotland by asking for an extortionate fee.

2. I will arrive unannounced at strategic work areas in the city to see how many workers have a)turned up b) turned up to lean on their shovels c) know what they are supposed to be doing!! And I will start with their supervisors!

3) I will take any untoward actions and delays or blackmail from contractors to the newspapers, tv news programmes and shout it from outside the naff Scottish Parliament building.

4) I will not ask for a Knighthood/Ladyhood or an enormous 'Let's rip off the taxpayer' pension.

5) I will not blame the postponed line to Granton on the 'crunch'. It is the most open 'secret' in Edinburgh that that line had been scrapped long before we knew the bankers, government, and city boys had ripped us honest folk off!!!!!

I expect to be offered the job immedietely of course! or as soon as those in power can lift their heads out of their troughs!

A Scottish Mailbox on Knock, Isle of Mull

Question for non British subjects! What's the approximate age of this working mailbox and how did you figure it oot? Answers on a postcard to L.Muck, Cell Block 9, Room 1, Edinburgh.

Elephants, Highland Cows and Edinburgh Residents

I know that some of our dear readers do not believe that Scotland has an Elephant Polo team, in fact 2 teams that do very well, and that World elephant polo was co-founded by an Edinburgh local, and so, when I saw this Land Rover and it's rather abnormal load (I only knew it was abnormal because the sign told me), just sitting outside the shops in Tobermory one evening, I thought perfect! This'll do! There's my proof for our readers, and not only that, you all do realise that this explains why we've never seen Elephants polo training on mainland Scotland, they're all on the Isle of Mull!

I've many photos to share, so I'll start with my actual journey to the west coast with a photo of Hamish. Hamish is a 16yr old Highland Cow that was born in Mull and somehow ended up as a tourist attraction in the town of KILMAHOG, just north of Stirling... Dont believe me? Here -

Kilmahog - a pig free zone.

In the Background: Hamish
In the Foreground: 2 visitors, most probably from Edinburgh.

Ferry photos to follow -